The Biggest Parenting Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Let’s be real—no one gets parenting 100% right, no matter how many books they’ve read or how many parenting blogs they follow.
If you’ve ever ended the day thinking, “Did I yell too much today?” or “Am I messing up my child?”, just know this:
You’re not alone. You're human. And you're learning.
Hi, I’m Joseph Abu, a real human dad and parenting blogger with over 5 years of experience helping families through relatable, honest, and helpful content. Today, I want to walk you through some of the most common parenting mistakes—and more importantly, how you can avoid or gently correct them.
This article isn’t about shame. It’s about growth, grace, and doing your best with what you know. Let’s dive in ❤️
🧠 Why Knowing Your Mistakes Can Actually Make You a Better Parent
Before we get into the list, here’s something encouraging:
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Good parents make mistakes.
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Great parents reflect and improve.
When you understand your blind spots, you open the door to better communication, deeper connection, and a more peaceful home.
❌ Mistake #1: Yelling as a First Response
We’ve all been there—your child spills cereal, talks back, or won’t listen… and you just snap. It’s not because you’re bad—it’s because you’re overwhelmed.
Why It’s a Problem:
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It teaches your child to fear, not respect.
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It often escalates the situation.
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You feel guilty afterward.
How to Avoid It:
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Pause. Take 3 deep breaths before speaking.
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Whisper instead. It feels strange, but it gets kids’ attention!
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Create a calm-down routine for yourself, not just your child.
💬 Joseph’s Insight: I used to raise my voice too quickly—especially after a long workday. What helped? Drinking water before responding and stepping out of the room for 30 seconds. Small things do work.
😔 Mistake #2: Not Listening to Your Child’s Emotions
When your child is upset, it’s tempting to say, “You’re fine,” or “Stop crying.” But that shuts down emotional growth.
Why It’s a Problem:
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Kids feel dismissed or misunderstood.
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Emotions get bottled up.
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They stop opening up to you over time.
How to Avoid It:
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Say things like, “I see you’re upset. Can you tell me why?”
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Get on their level physically—kneel or sit.
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Validate before correcting: “It’s okay to feel sad, but let’s talk about what happened.”
🌱 Gentle Reminder: Emotionally supported kids grow into emotionally healthy adults.
🕰️ Mistake #3: Not Spending Quality Time
In a busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in schedules, chores, and screens—and miss those golden bonding moments.
Why It’s a Problem:
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Kids feel disconnected or ignored.
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Behavioral issues may increase to get your attention.
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You miss out on precious memories.
How to Avoid It:
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Block out 10–15 minutes of undistracted time daily.
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Play a board game, read a book, or go for a short walk.
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Use car rides or meal times to talk, not just scroll.
💛 Joseph’s Insight: I once asked my son, “What was your favorite part of today?” He said, “When you watched cartoons with me.” It wasn’t the big things—it was just being present.
📱 Mistake #4: Being Glued to Your Phone
This one stings a little, right? But our kids notice when we choose screens over them.
Why It’s a Problem:
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It sends the message: “Something else is more important than you.”
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It limits eye contact and bonding.
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It becomes hard to model healthy screen habits.
How to Avoid It:
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Create “phone-free” zones or times (like dinner or bedtime).
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Set boundaries for work notifications after hours.
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Tell your child, “I’m finishing a message, then I’m all yours.”
✨ Pro Tip: Use apps that limit screen time or give you gentle nudges to put the phone down.
🧱 Mistake #5: Being Too Controlling or Too Permissive
Both extremes can confuse children. Too strict? They might rebel. Too lenient? They may lack structure.
Find the Balance:
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Set clear rules with consistent consequences.
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Offer choices when possible to give them a sense of control.
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Stay firm and kind.
✅ Example: Instead of “Go to bed now!”, try:
“You can choose to read one story or two short ones—then it’s bedtime.”
🤐 Mistake #6: Not Saying "I'm Sorry"
Some parents feel they’ll lose respect if they apologize. But actually—it builds more respect.
Why It’s Powerful:
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It shows humility and honesty.
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It models accountability.
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It deepens trust.
How to Do It:
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Keep it simple: “I’m sorry I yelled. That wasn’t okay. I’ll do better.”
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Use it as a teachable moment.
💡 Joseph’s Note: Saying sorry changed how my child reacted to mistakes—he started apologizing without being told. That’s when I knew I was modeling something right.
🛑 Mistake #7: Comparing Your Child to Others
This one is common but deeply hurtful—even if it comes from a good place.
Why It’s Harmful:
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It damages self-esteem.
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It creates sibling rivalry or anxiety.
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It teaches your child that they’re never "enough."
How to Avoid It:
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Celebrate your child’s unique gifts and pace.
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Replace “Why can’t you be like…” with “I love who you are because…”
🌟 Reminder: Your child was made to be themselves, not someone else.
❤️ Final Thoughts: Mistakes Don't Define You—Growth Does
Let’s wrap this up with love and encouragement.
You’re not a bad parent if you’ve made any of these mistakes.
You’re a growing parent. And that makes all the difference.
“When you know better, you do better.” — Maya Angelou
You won’t get it right every time—and you don’t have to. The fact that you’re here, reading, learning, and trying? That already makes you an amazing parent.
✅ What You Can Do Next:
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Pick just one mistake from this list to focus on changing this week.
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Talk to your child—honestly and simply. Connection heals a lot.
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Bookmark this post for those tough days (and share with another parent who needs encouragement).
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Subscribe to my free parenting newsletter for more gentle tips, stories, and real-life tools.
With heart and hope,
Joseph Abu – Your Friendly Parenting Blogger & Dad Coach 👨👧👦💬
Need a printable “Positive Parenting Cheat Sheet” or “Calm Communication Script”? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to send one your way!
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